Journal · Writing

2016 Reflection

2016 was a whirlwind however cliché that may sound.

Emotionally, it was one of the most draining years I’ve experienced so far. It’s impossible to explain how somehow the coldest, most heartless, least emotional person has broken down so quickly and so easily. While the first few months of the year were a pain, they weren’t nearly as terrible as the last three months or so. The result of building tension and conflict, the beginning of October marked the beginning  of a continuous emotional and mental breakdown. The smallest actions and events sent me into a silent fit of tears when I was once able to withstand the most heartbreaking and frustrating situations with the most placid of expressions and utmost lack of emotions. It is infuriating to watch myself become so helpless and vulnerable without explanation or way to help myself.

Mentally, this year has challenged me like no other. Beginning in August particularly, my classes have pushed me to my intellectual capacity and proceeded to prod me over the edge into unknown territory. In part, it is a cause of my emotional breakdown; it caused me to feel as if I was no longer as smart as I was told or used to feel. It became difficult for me to understand what others saw as so simple and the adults around me blamed it on the excessive use of electronics or lack of effort. My effort was rarely seen as I pushed myself to work harder and harder only to continue earning C’s and D’s due to bad nerves on exam days. In the recent weeks, I have improved, teaching myself to keep a clear mind and focus on the subject material before I allowed myself to panic over assuming I don’t know anything.

Nationally and globally, many will agree the year has been nothing short of a disaster. Beloved figures have passed away, a hatemonger has come to power as another figure of hate has passed to the next life, and war has been declared on human rights and life more than ever. However, this year has not only divided but also united many. Movements have become larger than life, and they are more than mere individuals banding for a cause in their area; people are now fighting for their plant, for their people, for their children’s children and beyond.

Though I remove myself from pessimism and reject optimism for the sake of avoiding false hope, I do indulge in realism. It will get worse before it gets better, and limits will be tested before they are relieved of pressure. Perseverance is necessary from all those who seek to better our world. A luminous and glorious future is possible.

And with these final words of encouragement I wish all a happy new year in all its clichés.

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.” – Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


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